TUSCANY

SPOUSAL COMMUNICATIONS

 Oct  26

You know, all those books they write about women and men communicating and how to do it and how one sex perceives things as opposed to the other sex.....send them to me.

 

For about six months, I have said, and believe it is even in print in this blog, that "I am going to Tuscany to pick olives for two weeks" . Simple, short, no misspelling or grammar errors in that quote. No hidden agenda, no maybes, nothing ambiguous, just a straight forward "I am going to Tuscany to pick olives for two weeks".

 

Obviously, I missed something.  Let me try this again, "I am going to Tuscany to pick olives for two weeks".  Ok, I have studied that in print and said it out loud several times and it seems pretty straight forward....to me.  I tried it on Daniel and he agrees. He speaks many languages and he interprets it to mean "from 9 to 6 you will be picking olives with me". I did not ask the "olive boss" as she might not understand it in English and besides she is always saying "poor Vicki...". The "olive supervisor", Spotty ,would be no help as he goes with whoever snuck him that last treat.

 

So, when I dragged myself home yesterday at after 6 PM expecting a nice hearty farmers meal on the table and a glass of the nice estate wine.  I was a little shocked when it was not there. Well, that doesn't happen on a regular day, so it was some of the imaginary gentleman farmer thing going on in my head and I should not have been shocked. Now don't get me wrong, Vicki cooks a fine meal, we just don't eat at 6 at our house unless I make a baloney sandwich.

 

I took a shower, after having literally worked my pants off, all day.

 

I came out of the shower and Vicki had a nice martini waiting for me. She is wonderful and I love her dearly. Best thing that ever happened to me. Well, after finding all that gold back in the 70's. A wonderful companion and life partner. I am a lucky man and sat down to enjoy a evening drink with my beautiful wife.

 

"I did not know that when you said you were coming to Tuscany to pick olives you meant everyday from 9 to 6". ZING!!! 

 

 I sat there looking into my vodka thinking "damn, that drink is talking to me".  I said "excuse me"? 

 

 "I did not know that when you said you were coming to Tuscany to pick olives you meant everyday from 9 to 6". POW!!!

 

Nope, not the vodka talking and I had just barely had a sip, so it wasn't drunkenness talking to me either. I took another sip and looked up. And there was the Princess smiling at me....sort of.

 

"When you said you were coming to Tuscany to pick olives I did not expect you to do it everyday all day."

 

Well, that was not a fair statement as we have only been here 3 days and I have only picked 2.5 days. I stared into the vodka. The vodka said "be real careful boy, you may be getting yourself into a dangerous place". I took a slow sip and thought quickly. Even though my body was tired from pulling olives all day, it is not mind numbing work, so the mindt helped figure out what to say.

 

"I'm sorry honey, what did you think that statement meant", I said in a very even quiet voice. Which was not easy as what little mind I have left was shouting it.

 

"Well, I don't know?"  A response I am sure will be explained by one of those many "relationship" books you are going to send me.

 

"Well honey, I have been saying for a long time 'I am going to Tuscany to pick olive'. I think that is what I am doing."

 

"Yes, but....." This response too I am sure will be explained in the books.

 

Men, you know how the rest of this goes.  You give in and move on or you don't and you move out.

 

So, I said "Ok honey, tomorrow I will take you up to that little winery in Chianti that we like so much."

 

She smiled real big, gave me a little kiss and said "that would be wonderful". Then got up to cook my hearty farmers dinner.

 

I never told her that is going to rain tomorrow so we can't pick olives anyway.